Seeking Approval

I’ve known for a long time that I seek the approval of others.  I’ve tried many things to avoid doing that… to stop doing that.  But, so far, I’ve not been able to stop or avoid it.  I’m a born again believer in Jesus Christ, and I do not (and did not) have to do ANYthing to earn His forgiveness.  So, why do I struggle with this?  Why have I struggled with this?  Does it really matter why?  I simply would be ECSTATIC if I could get ‘beyond’ this and no longer struggle with it.  I imagine it has ‘fueled’ my depression because deep in my heart I know I can do nothing to gain anyone’s approval.  And, deep in my heart, I know that I shouldn’t worry what others think.

However, even the word “should” is something that bothers me.  It doesn’t matter if I change “should” to “need.”  That bothers me, too.  So, how does one overcome this?  Is it through endless counseling sessions and/or medication?  I’ve done all of that, and yet I still struggle.  I don’t have the answers… other than the cliché of, “Let go, and let God.”  That is so simplistic and yet seemingly impossible to do.

8 thoughts on “Seeking Approval”

  1. I have been in your situation. Justknownthat there are tons of people out there who care about you – people you may not even know.
    Bless your heart and trust that god will help you through this. Hugs.

  2. It seems like many of go through life seeking approval – and it’s a process just like any other. Maybe start out slow and find small things that will make you happy and feel good about yourself. If you continue to build on this, you may just find that you don’t need the approval of others as much as you think you did! This is a subject that touches everyone’s lives – whether they want to admit it or not.

  3. I used to be like that too. But then I really thought about ending my life and I realized that that would be allowing “it” to win. and I wasn’t going to do that. I have (had) a friend and she committed suicide this year. i know she was hurting, but all I see are the faces of her children, who truly loved her more than life. And I think, NOTHING, not one this, is that important. My own child has autism and I have felt the need to have others accept me and him, and all we do for him. But they don’t. I had to look past it. I just HAD to. So I do now. Maybe you should see someone that can help you get these feelings out and not worry about others. I don’t know how to describe it, but you are all you have, make yourself happy.

  4. Wow! Thanks for all the replies! Why and how did you all end up here on the same day?! It’s encouraging to know I’m not alone. Thank you!

  5. Wow again… just read these comments out loud. Bless you, dear Maryann. (and the others, too… but especially you for your friend’s choice)

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